Om Nom Nom
by Good boy-chan
Summary: Zetsu is hungry. But Hidan has no more sacrifices, Kakuzu won't let him eat a bounty, and the box of limbs that was in the fridge was thrown out. A gift for a friend of mine. ZF THIS IZ FOR YOUZ! :  Rated T for slight swearing.


**WHAT IS THIS I DON'T EVEN—oh yeah, it's the result of my boredom.**

**I don't own Naruto.**

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><p>Zetsu's stomach grumbled. Loudly. He groaned as the hunger pangs radiated throughout his body. 'Need flesh,' he thought. 'Now.'<p>

He quickly hurried over to the kitchen and flung open the fridge. He shoved vegetables out of the way as he reached for that special box in the back.

Which wasn't there.

'Fuck...' he thought. 'Don't tell me...'

"Leader-sama?" he called. "**Where the hell are my body parts?**"

Pein appeared in front of him, being the amazing and awesome leader that he is. "Oh, Zetsu. Your...er, limbs had to be removed."

"Why?" Zetsu snarled. He was getting hungrier by the second, and Pein's orange hair was starting to look tasty. 'I wonder what chakra receivers taste like,' he mused.

"They were rotting the vegetables," Pein explained. "I understand that you do not want to promote...er, 'cannibalism', but Zetsu, not all of us are half-plant."

"But those limbs were my snack food!" the plant man whined. "**And I need to eat them if you do not want me to eat any of the other members.**"

Pein paled. "V-very well. Go ask Hidan if he is done with any sacrifices. You are not allowed to kill civilians for food anymore. Remember last time?"

"Hai, Leader-sama," Zetsu grumbled, and he walked down the hallway to Hidan's room.

He knocked. "Oi, what's up fucker?" Hidan yelled from inside.

"It's me," Zetsu replied in his "demonic" voice. There was a tiny yelp—Hidan was always afraid that Zetsu was going to eat him-and the door opened.

"What do you want," Hidan asked.

"Do you have any more sacrifices left over?" Zetsu's stomach growled.

Hidan blanched as well. "You ate my last fuckin' one. There's no more."

"**WHAT?**" Zetsu towered over the Jashinist in rage, fire burning in his eyes. "**I haven't eaten a decent human for THREE FUCKIN' DAYS, and you tell me that you are OUT of sacrifices?**"

"I'll go get more now!" Hidan said quickly, and, grabbing his scythe, ran out the entrance of the base.

Zetsu rubbed his temples in frustration. "Gah...if no one feeds me, I'll eat all of them. **Why don't you ask Kakuzu if you can eat one of his bounties? I hear he freezes them.** What the hell? How did you hear that? **I have my ways...muahaha.** You scare me. **I know. That's the point.** ...Great."

Sure enough, the cannibal was soon knocking on Kakuzu's door. "What," an irritable voice said from within.

"It's me," Zetsu said.

Kakuzu sighed. "Come in."

Zetsu entered to see Kakuzu going over their finances again. "What do you want?" the tanned man said.

"I'm hungry. **Can I eat a bounty?**"

"NO!" Suddenly Kakuzu was in front of him, his strings wriggling angrily. "We need those bounties. If you eat just one, I will have to kill you."

Zetsu just grinned and bit Kakuzu's arm.

He yelped—an amusing sound coming from the normally stoic miser—and yelled, "GET THE FUCK OFF OF ME!" With a forceful pull of his strings, Zetsu's mouth was successfully pried off.

He smacked his mouth in distaste. "Gross. Tastes like greed."

Kakuzu stared at him. "Greed has a taste?"

Zetsu gave him a "duh" look. "Of course. What are you, stupid?"

Kakuzu's face: -_- "Please leave my room now."

"Fine..." Bored with walking, Zetsu sank into the ground and reappeared outside.

He sat down and rested his elbows on his knees as the moon shone down on him. 'Great,' he thought. 'I'm incredibly hungry and I can't eat civilians...if I don't eat soon, then I'll have to eat one of Pein's bodies again. And he won't be happy. Oh Kami...'

"Zetsu-san! Zetsu-san!" Zetsu turned around to see Tobi barreling towards him at full speed. "HII ZETSU-SAN!"

"Hello Tobi," Zetsu said. He could literally smell the enthusiasm radiating off of Tobi's body, and it had a very appetizing scent...

CHOMP. "Um...Zetsu-san, why are you biting Tobi's arm?"

"I'm hungry," Zetsu replied, his words a bit muffled by Tobi's arm. "My limbs in the fridge were thrown out by Pein-sama, Hidan's out of sacrifices, and Kakuzu won't let me eat a bounty. **I haven't eaten a decent meal for three days, and I'm getting hungrier by the second.**"

"Tobi knows a solution!" the masked man exclaimed.

Zetsu released his arm and blinked. "You do?"

"Yup! Just leave everything to Tobi!" With a grin (Zetsu thought it was, at least) and a thumbs up, Tobi disappeared. Apparently he didn't care that his arm was nearly bitten off and was still bleeding.

Not two minutes had passed before he returned with two freshly dead bodies of shinobi.

Zetsu stared. "Tobi...how did you get these bodies?"

"Tobi found them sleeping. So Tobi killed them. Did Tobi do a bad thing?" Tobi began wringing his hands in worry.

"No, no. This is great! Thanks Tobi. **Tobi is a good boy.**"

"Tobi is a good boy!" And with that, Tobi skipped away.

Grinning happily, Zetsu gladly dug into his meal. As he tore the muscle away from the bone with his teeth, he savored the flavor that still lingered.

Fear.

...Yum.

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><p><strong>Um...I have a sick and twisted mind. But so does Zetsu, so...yeah.<strong>

**I figure everyone (save Tobi) is a bit frightened by Zetsu because he can eat them. Thus Pein and Hidan's reactions. Kakuzu just doesn't care.**

**Read and review this and my other stories/oneshots please!**


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